The Blue Room
by StarlightNights
Summary: 8 friends with an unlikely arrangement.  A look into their lives, the benefits and consequences their relationships with each other bring them.  Will their relationship survive or will the secrets they promised not to keep tear them apart? AU/AH
1. 1: The Story So Far

This story contains adult themes. Underage use of alcohol and/or drugs. Teens having sex, with consent, with multiple partners... etc. There will be uncannon pairings of the characters but stick with it if the concept is interesting to you, you never know how the story will progress.

**Chapter 1**

**The Story So Far**

**Rosalie**

It was supposed to be an easy day. The first day of classes are never hard, especially since this is my senior year. The first day is always so boring. Orientations. Rules. Syllabuses. Often a lot like the movie Groundhog Day. Same thing over and over, only the teacher and classroom change. And it was all that and more, don't get me wrong, I was bored to tears. But after struggling through all 9 periods I found myself locked in a bathroom stall crying. No, it wasn't boredom. It wasn't the frustration. It was all for the fact that I was again forced to come face-to-face with the thought of my own mortality. The entire student body was.

Usually on the first day of school our afternoon classes are cut short for a long and boring back to school assembly. A welcome back pep rally, you could call it. But today, it was different. Much different. People were obediently filling into the gymnasium not for a happy welcoming but to say a final goodbye to a student. Angela Weber. And the saddest part, this wasn't even our first memorial service.

I couldn't bring myself to enter the gym. Each step that I got closer my breathing became more labored. My heart raced so fast in my chest that I swear I was only a few beats away from a heart attack. So instead I sought out the safety of an unoccupied bathroom stall and let all my emotions release.

Me and Angela weren't close. Freshman year she sat behind me in Algebra. If I fell asleep, which happened often, she would kick the back of my chair and wake me up. She was nice. One of those girls that was almost always too nice. She kept a perfect 4.0. She was always willing to help tutor. She even reluctantly let me copy her homework a few times. She was cute and quiet, not very popular but still well liked. Angela was the type of girl that could have been successful at anything she tried. She could have gone to any college she wanted. She could have been a doctor or a lawyer or even been something greater. She could have found the cure to cancer. She could have done anything to make the world a better place. Cleaner air. Cleaner water. Anything. She was that amazing already at such a young age, you could see it. Or maybe she would have just been an amazing wife and mother. And maybe her children would have done something amazing and changed the world for better. But we will never know.

Angela was born with a mess of health problems. When she was 12 she had to have a kidney transplant. But that's neither here nor there. That isn't what brought her to her death. But it sure didn't help. It was probably why her death happened so much faster than it should have. What had silently wreaked havoc on her body wasn't something she was born with. It was just one moment. One stupid and selfish moment. Knowing Angela, it was probably the only one she ever had. One stupid little mistake that a lot of us make on a daily basis. The same exact mistake that I once made. Royce King, rich, star quarterback, most popular guy in the school. Someone that all the guys wanted to be and all the girls wanted to be with. And a lot of them were.

Royce had a knack for convincing girls to sleep with him. I fell victim to it. The way that he would lock eyes with you and slowly and quietly woo you. My night with him was amazing. Not that the sex was anything to brag about. We were both drunk and it was average at best. When he approached me at a party he acted as if I was the only girl in the room. And it is hard not to fall for that. He was the most popular guy in school, he could have chosen anyone. But he chose me. Sure, I had friends and I was likeable enough. I was even told by many that I was beautiful. But I never saw that. I always wanted more. I always wanted what I didn't have. And I wanted Royce. And For those few brief moments I was with him, I was the most envied girl in the school. I was the girl that everyone wanted to be. I got exactly what I wanted. And I almost lost my life because of it.

One night. One guy. One mistake. One missing fucking condom. Maybe if I hadn't have been drinking I would have made a different decision. But I doubt anything would have changed my mind at the time. No one had ever turned Royce down. But if I could go back in time I would take back everything about that night. And every girl that has ever shared a bed with him wishes the same thing.

In October of last year, Royce took his life. It was a shock. The powerful and almost mythical Royce King had committed suicide. No warning. He just took his fathers fun, put it to his head and said good-bye. No note. No apology. No explanation. We were all left wondering why the fuck would someone in his position do something like that. He had everything. Wealth. Popularity. An athletic scholarship to the college of his choosing after graduation. Scouts from all the major football schools were already on him, trying to convince him to join their team.

Of course there was a memorial service. It was our first. It was much different than the one being held for Angela. His was bigger. A lot more tears. A lot more flowers. His picture hung in the halls, memorializing his great memory. After the service was concluded everyone suddenly felt that it was okay to resumed gossiping again. The rumors spread like wildfire. An abusive father? A secret gay life he was ashamed of and didn't want exposed? Each one you heard was more unrealistic than the last. But when the truth finally came out it was worse than anything anyone had speculated. Royce took his own life because he tested HIV positive.

The day the news broke our world just stopped turning. That was the hardest day of my life. It was the first time I ever questioned my own mortality. In our careless night together could he have passed it on to me? How many other women did he fuck? How many of them had he delivered a death sentence to?

In the end, no one really cared how he got it. Sex? Drugs? Medical malpractice? By that time it was a moot point. Once you've died because of that disease the world just stops caring about you. Not to sound callous or mean but its true. The negative connotations that it carries with it makes everyone that has it… damaged goods. They have the biggest fucking scarlet letter known to man. And then when the disease finally wears down your weak and wary body, your letter is gone and you are forgotten. You're no longer a threat. All they want to know is who had it now. Who else had to bear that heavy cross burdened with shame? Who was the new threat?

At first people were afraid to come back to school. Funny how in those early days people feared that it could spread through the air like a cold or the flu. And funnier still, no one wanted to get tested. It's so much easier to die if you don't know its coming. It took me three weeks and the unrelenting support of my closest friends to gather enough courage to get tested. I breathed a sigh of relief when the results were negative but the nurse hit me with a surprise left hook by telling me it could take months for the disease to present itself in blood work. Fortunetly, I got lucky. All my tests came back clean. But I was still scared shitless.

No one really knows how many people contracted the disease from Royce or from anyone else who might have been infected by him. For all I know some peope still haven't been tested. There are rumors flying around about who it was passed to. Lauren Mallory, the one girl he actually dated for more than one night. Could she now have it and have passed it along to the next guy she was with? Could he now be spreading it?

At first, people were afraid. No one made out in the hallways. No one went to all the secret spots to have sex anymore. People barely held hands. But like anything else, it passes. Slowly the sexual activity rose again. Once they got a negative test, things were all better. Royce was just one person. The rest of us were all young and invinsible still. We were all along, nothing that bad could actually happen in high school. Especially our small town school. Teenagers don't die because of AIDS. They die in tragic car accidents while texting. They die because of cancer. And up until then I believed it too. How many kids are walking around not even realizing that they next person they sleep with could slowly be killing them? You don't think of the AIDS epidemic as something that tangible. You know the stereotypes. It only happens in Africa, or other poor nations. Gay men. Strung out, homless, drug uses. You don't think of it in terms of the star quarterbacks of the world. And that is exactly what makes it so dangerous.

Angela's parents won't admit to what really happend. But we all knew. No one would say it, but we knew just the same. And now it is time to play the guessing game. Who's next?

I forced my sobs to cease as the door opened. And before I could wipe my tears away and compose myself, a familiar face peaked under the door. "Fuck! What are you doing, Emmett?"

"I thought I saw you duck in here. You know, instead of waiting it out in here. You can just sneak out the back and head home. It's a lot easier. And much more comfortable. He crawled under the doorand wrapped his arms around me, finally noticing my sorrow. "What's wrong, baby girl?"

"That could be any of us," I say, wiping at my tears. I don't like to show emotion in front of people. In my experience they use it against you. But I have no problem being vulnerable around Emmett or any of the other members of our very selective group. But it's still hard to let myself be out there on this one. I made the same mistake as Angela. I just got lucky. "You played on the football team with Royce, went to the same parties, hooked up with a lot of the same girls. I spent the night with him. It could have been us."

"But it wasn't. We're smarter than that," he reassures me. But it's not just about smarts. A lot of it is just plain luck. "Come on." He winks and pulls me in close. His hands gently press against my cheeks, the pads of his thumbs slowly wiping away my tears. "I bet I know what would make you feel better." He brought his lips to mine. And as usual all my worries and fears melted away. Maybe once upon a time I was dumb and not careful and I got lucky. But this time, from now on, it's not about luck. We are smart. We are careful.

Emmett and I are part of a group, you coud call it. A small circle of friends, really. Very very close friends. Eight of us total. Emmett McCarty, Jasper Whitlock, Edward Masen, Jacob Black, Bella Swan, Alice Brandon, Jessica Stanely, and me Rosalie Hale. We have always been friends. But after finding out about Royce, I guess you could say that we became more than just friends. TThe way that most of our peers treated our AIDS crisis was careless. But none of us were willing to risk being with someone that was being irresponsible. And it was difficult to imagine being celibate, not at seventeen. So we took matters into our own hands. A pact. Complete openness and honesty with each other. We all got tested. We were all clean. We did it multiple times and we always got good news. We didn't want to take any chances. As soon as that was all taken care of we decided that we would all become friends with benefits. Four guys. Four girls. No stress. No worries. Just friendship. Just love and acceptance.

And at this point, we are no longer just friends. We've become so much more than that. Sharing our bodies with each other has brought us closer together. We don't keep secrets. Because if you really stop to think about it, we're not just six individuals anymore, we all work together to form one. We know evrything about one another, intimate things that you would sometimes struggle to tell family and loved ones. But it's easy with us, it always has been and always will be. I don't know what I would do without them. You take one from us and we will all fall apart. We've become dependant on one another. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sure, no one is really going to understand our decision. But we do. And that's all that matters. If anyone actually stopped to think about it, it's so much easier than torturing yourself with adolescent relationships. By only spending time with each other, we avoid all the drama that usually plagues a normal high school kid. And I can't even begin to describe how fulfilling it actually is. It's not a long string of random hookups. I'm not sleeping with anyone so they will like me. I'm not being pressured at all. We genuinely love one another. And we are always there for each other. Sex or no sex. We are and will always be friends first.

"So what do you say?" Emmett asked, pulling away from me and raising his eyebrow. "Show we take this to the loft?"

"I can't think of anything else I would rather be doing." I smirked. We sneaked through the parkinglot to his truck. There we already find everyone else waiting for us. I think that this will be a good year after all.


	2. 2: I Got a Hand For You

**Chapter 2**

**I Got a Hand for You **

**Jacob**

It was a long and hard summer, at least for me. And this was beginning to look like a very long year. Not only the anticipation of graduation and all the freedom and liberties that it brings with it, but…I don't even know how to describe it. Something inside me has changed. I know that most seventeen-year-old boys woud love the arrangement I have. They would arguee that I have it made. How could I ever even consider being unhappy when I have four beautiful women that are willing to sleep with me pretty much at a moments notice. And don't get me wrong, it is nice. It's great to have an easy option whenever the mood strikes. And I"m a seventeen-year-old boy the mood strikes me quite often. But lately it hasn't been that easy.

Things are changing. We are changing. This arrangement was great in the beginning. And it still is. But it's just not as easy as it used to be. We are still as close as ever but in a way we seem to be drifting apart slowly. Emmett has football practice. Alice waitresses. Bella works at Newton's. Jessica has her violin. Jasper has his art. Edward has a little bit of everything. So our moments together are becoming fewer gradually. Plus, we are all stressed about the futre. We've tried to discuss it once but that didn't go well.

After graduation, what do we do? Alice is so smart she can go to any college she wants with a scholarship. Rose has the money to get into anywhere she wants. Jasper has no interest in anything but art so why would he go to a regular academic school? A few schools have shown interest in Emmett for a football scholarship. And I don't think my grades are good enough to get me anywhere but a community college, or even if I do want to go to college. I like cars. What good is english and history when I need to take apart a motor and fix it?

But none of us wants to give up what we have. We are best friends. We are family. We love each other. We love each other more than anyone could believe. More than most people love their families. You can't just walk away from that. But can this arrangement translate outside of high school? Sure it might last through college if we are lucky. But what happens then, when we want to move into adulthood? When we want to have husbands and wives and children. Or do any of us want that?

I can't quite figure it out. My mind just seems muddled and cloudy. My moments of clarity are few and far between. Maybe just a case of teenage angst.

Although I don't know what would be causing that anguish. I've got the best friends a guy could ever ask for. They offer their unconditional love and support. Even if I don't always get it from my parents. Or I should say parent. My dad does a great job, don't get me wrong. But it's really hard on him to do it all by himself. Cooking. Cleaning. Working long hours to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. But that leaves little time for anything else. And I get it, you have to prioritize. That is why I am so glad that my friends are always there.

And the rest of the group. We feed off of each other. A symbiotic relationship. No one can survive if one fails. We are always in this together. When my mom died Alice practically moved in with us, helping with household duties when dad was so consumed with depression that he couldn't get out of bed. And Jasper, who had always been the most mature even if he was the baby, somehow became our family's father figure. He was the one my sister called when the faucet was leaky. And Bella, she was the mother when I really didn't have one. Always offering a shoulder to cry on. And in a strange way she was more in touch with my emotions than I was. She knew when I was going to break down before it happened. She would help coax the healing tears out so I could finally move on with my life. Everyone did their part. And I made it through. We made it through. It was our first major crisis, you could say. And we all knew that it wouldn't be our last. But that is what we live for. To meet challenges head on and always come out the other side smarter, better and stronger for having stayed to fight.

And now I am facing my own personal challenge. This thick haze clouding my thoughts. Even as I lay in bed with Bella, my hand snaked under her shirt, massaging her warm tender breast, feeling the heat jumping from her body to my fingertips I just couldn't shake it. These used to be the clearest moments of my life. Sharing my mind and my body with my friends. But now, nothing works. Nothing helps. It's as if I have lost a part of myself. Or maybe I just realized that I have been missing something all along.

Bella pulled away from me. "Where are you?" she asked, breathing heavily.

"I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess it's just been a long day."

She nodded. It has been a long day for all of us. Even if none of us were close to Angela, it's hard to see someone you knew pass. Especially someone with such talent and potential. Someone like any one of us. Same grade. Same age. Dead because of the very thing I was about to do.

"You know we don't have to," she said as she sucked in her lower lip. "All you have to do is say stop. No questions asked."

"I know." I nodded and forced a smile. She noticed. I can't fake anything around these people.

"We can just talk if you want. You can let me in on whatever is bothering you." She sat up and pulled her shirt back over her stomach. "It's what I'm here for."

Again I nodded. Talking is not something that I want to be doing. I don't even know what I would say. How do you describe something to someone when you can't even figure it out for yourself? "I really don't have anything to say that hasn't been said already. It sucks about Angela. But it will pass. Things always pass." I lie. But this time I think she buys it. And it's not a lie. Maybe that is what has been bugging me all along. The stress finally catching up to me. Maybe I will finally be able to close that chapter of my life and move on. "So, no. I don't want to talk." I shook my head. "I want to fuck you." I smirked.

She giggled and threw herself back onto the bed. I forced myself to stop thinking about anything and everything. There was a beautiful brunette lying under me, waiting for me to take her, that should be enough motivation. And it only took a moment for the two of us to fall into old habits. Stripping clothes off as fast as we could, eager to feel the sweet sensation of skin on skin. But before we could go any farther, she placed her hand on my chest and pushed. "Jacob." Her voice was low, almost getting caught in her throat. "Stop," she pleaded, her hand quickly moving to cover her mouth. She shot up out of bed but before she could take a step, she leaned forward and her stomach retched. "I'm sorry," she managed to choke out before running to the bathroom, not bothering to cover her naked form.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. A year ago Jasper had painted the entire room. It took him weeks to finish. Each wall was different. He tried to explain the whole motif to us but we didn't get it. Not to say we didn't like it, it looked awesome. We just didn't see beyond the paint like he did. To us, it was just the blue room.

The ceiling was painted as a dark night sky. Stars burning brightly in the navy background. If you looked real close you could even see the subtle hint of red marking mars. The far wall with the window was painted as a field of blue flowers. Every kind of flower you could imagine. Every shade of blue known to man. The window was covered with a drape of silk flowers. The front wall was the ocean. Gulls flying high in the sky. Rows of waves crashing against the carpeted shore. The door was turned into a tiki hut. The wall on the other side of the door was a a forest, half cut down, bathed in the blue moonlight of the full moon. One wall was separated into two halves. A mantle built into the wall, housing nothing but dividing wall into two horizontal halves. The bottom was painted as a clouded sky. It was amazing that every time you looked at it you found something different hiding in the clouds as if they were real. And the top was a stormy sky, heavy raindrops falling from clouds into a lake reflecting the realistic lightning. The bathroom was an underwater scene full of fish and whales and things like that. And my favorite was the winter landscape. Blue tinted snow covered mountains. A blue river winding through them. And rows of trees coated with ice, reflecting the pale blue moonlight. And the amazing thing about all the murals in the blue room, Jasper said in each scene there was a tiny person hidden in the intricate details. Eight tiny lost people, one for each of us. I search each wall and I never could find them.

I pulled my attention from the walls and looked around me. Instead of searching for hidden figures in the walls there were six other body's surrounding me. All in various states of undress. Their minds shut off. Their body's clinging together, enjoying the comfort of another.

Some people might find it odd. All of us gathered into one space to be intimate. Surrounded by others during what most people consider to be their most private moments. But this is just another thing bringing us closer together. Letting your guard down to a roomful of people when you are most vulnerable and them accepting you still. Having them support you. Not judging you. Just existing with you. Enjoying your happiness. Sharing happiness.

I forced myself from the bed, not bothering with clothes. I'm not ashamed of my body. And I know that my friends aren't either. I stand outside the bathroom and listen. Bella was still sick. I rapped on the door softly. "How are you doing?"

"I'm not feeling well." Her voice was scratchy.

"Do you need anything?"

"I'll be ok." Her words were small and shaky.

I pushed open the door slightly and she didn't object. I gathered her long brown hair into my fist and hold it back as she again vomited. Tears streamed down her cheeks from her dark brown eyes and her body trembled in weakness. "Are you sure, you're ok?" I asked softly. She seemed to have shrunk right before my eyes. The strong, reliable and motherly Bella seemed to fade into a weak and frightened little girl. And it's not just the sickness. The sparkle in her eye was replaced with fear. Something I've never seen in her before.

She sat back, resting her head against the back wall. She took in a deep breath she closed her eyes and nodded her head. "Must have just gotten a bug." She opened her eyes and looked to me. "Thank you." She forced a sad smile.

"It's what I'm here for." I scooted next to her and squeezed her thigh reassuringly. "If you need to talk…" I started. Trying to coax her into telling me where the panic and fright suddenly came from.

She shook her head. "I just want to sit." I wrapped my arm around her in understanding. Like me, her mind is clouded. And she might not know the reasoning either. Maybe it's nothing more than the flu. Maybe it's just uncertainty for what our lives will hold after graduation. Maybe it's just normal adolescence. She rests her head on my shoulder and we sat together being more intimate in that small and simple moment than most teens were while having sex.


	3. 3: Hell Is So Close

**Chapter 3**

**Hell is so Close**

**Bella **

It was late. I should have been in bed, like everyone else. But there was something I loved about the night. The quietness was intoxicating. So quiet that it lulls everyone else to sleep while I sat awake cursing it. The quietness allowed other things to invade my head. Thoughts. Too many of them. Usually I loved the night. But today, the night just made my head fill with worries and questions. And I just didn't want to have to think any more. But I needed the few brief moments of solitude to keep my sanity.

The cool darkness of the night encompassed me. It was exactly what I needed to conclude a day like today. I thought that my time in the blue room would have helped. But for the first time in my life, that seemed to only make it worse. So I waited until it was just me, the moon and a few crickets. I lied on top of our family picnic table, my legs dangling over the edge just staring at the sky, counting the stars. I guess I was waiting for an epiphany or some moment of miraculous clarity. But nothing seemed to be on the horizon but more questions.

"Bella?" A voice called to me. I hardly moved as he approached. Most people would be scared all alone, someone calling their name in the darkness. But I know that voice very well. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking." I sighed, placing my hands under my head for support.

"About?" he asked as he sat on the bench to my right.

"The future." His silence was enough of a question for me. "My dad is really on my case." Again I sighed. I love, Edward, I really do. But I wasn't really in the mood to talk. This was my alone unwinding time. But I guess I have no choice. "Where are you going to school?" I mimiced my father. "What are you going to do with your life? A million fucking questions. And it just makes me… I don't know. It makes my head want to explode." Beside me Edward pulled out his cigarettes and offered me one. I shook my head and laughed. I would love one. Maybe that's why my head is going a million miles a minute. "Can't. My dad caught me. He is one more mistake away from drug testing me and sending me away to boarding school. I think he would have already if he could afford it."

Edward looked around and shrugged. "He's not here." He lit one for himself.

"Really time for me to quit anyway." I shrugged, trying to inhale the sweetness of his second hand smoke. "He's crazy enough to smell my clothes and make good on his threats. All over a few cigarettes." I laughed. "Better to just do it cold turkey."

"True." He shrugged, taking in another deep breath of toxins. "Jacob told me you were sick, feeling better?"

Our conversation seemed forced. Both of us exhausted from a harsh day. "Yeah. Should have known better than to trust Mary Beth's taco salad. I have sworn off cafeteria food for the rest of the year." I rolled to my side and stared at Edward. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "It just felt right. Like you needed a friend." He raised an eyebrow and waited for my response.

I could use a friend right now. I just don't want one yet. But I got one anyway. "I don't really know what I need. Sleep maybe. I've been awake for like 20 hours now. And the black hole that is the first day of school is exhausing enough. Then there's the whole Angela thing. And my dad riding my ass. I don't know… Today just all around sucked." I sighed and looked into his eyes again. "What about you? There must be something on your mind if you're out this late?"

"Seems to be going around." He shrugged and finished his cigarette. "Rosalie breaks down and cries. Emmett hardly spoke to me today. Jasper seems like he's off on another planet and then there's Alice. The only one who seems like nothing can affect her."

"And what about you?" I asked again since he's ignoring the question.

"I don't know. I miss my friends."

"What are you talking about, stupid." I laughed and tapped him in the arm. "We're all still right here."

"Yes and no." He shrugged. "Everyone seems to be dealing with stuff on their own."

"Sometimes we have to. Like, what can you guys really do about my dad." I offered with a roll of my eyes. "Better to just not bother to burden you."

"It's not a burden." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

I sighed heavily and lied back on the top of the picnic table. Little did he know, how much of a burden I could really be. Edward climbed on top of the table with me and lied down, his feet dangling over the other edge of the table, our faces lined up, staring at one another. We lied there for a moment, eyes locked, just listening to the symphony of the crickets and our shallow breaths. It was the kind of moments that they over exaggerate in romantic movies. The low and steady chirp of the crickets, our hearts slowly quickening, breaths coming faster, the soft way that we exchanged a knowing glance. It wasn't anything more than a moment, but we have our history, so we fell into old habits. I don't know who initiated, maybe it both of us, but we craned our necks and heads slowly moved together, our lips meeting. Softly at first but we quickly picked up momentum.

But we didn't get very far before that small niggling voice in the back of my head started to scream. I pulled away, my face quickly forming a pout, tears already falling down my cheeks. I tried to keep myself from falling apart and sobbing, but eventually it happened anyway. "I'm sorry." I cried, though I don't know if he understood me.

"This isn't all about your dad, is it?"

I took a second to calm myself. "What else would this be about, Edward?" I wiped at the tears. "I'm a teenager girl. Everything is a big deal to me. Everything has the potential to make me cry!" I laughed. "I've got raging hormones. And yes, I know, I get laid pretty often so you'd think that it would help."

Edward snickered. "We could always try again." He shrugged. "One more time can't hurt. And if I do say so myself, I am pretty good." I didn't respond and his smile faltered. "I am good, right?"

He makes me laugh. "Of course you're good. I wouldn't be having sex that frequently if I didn't enjoy it."

"So you've never faked it." He shrugged, as a way of asking.

I smirked. There is such a huge difference in the way boys and girls view sex and everything that comes with it. "Not really. Well, never with you. If I'm not there…I just don't see the point of faking it." I paused. I can see the question written on his face so I continue. "I enjoy sex now. Most of the time. As I'm sure you know by now. But sex is different for girls. With you guys, it's all the same. At least that's what I get out of it. You do your thing, you get always get off and it's over. All good."

Edward nodded his head. "You're over simplifying it. But pretty much."

"Yeah. You're never disappointed. Sex is always good for you. I've never met a guy who had a hard time getting off. Getting hard, sometimes." Again Edward nodded. "I'm sure you're first time was amazing. Something you'll never forget."

He smiled and stared into my eyes again. "Of course. It was you. In the back of my dad's truck, in the church parking lot after dark."

"Well, that night was a lot different for me." I nodded and frowned, wishing we had never started this conversation. "You weren't my first. That was Eric Yorkie. But with how that went... I could probably consider you my first anyway. Second time is a little different but you're still working out the kinks. With you it was a little better, but not much. And please take no offence, but it was awful. _You _weren't awful. The experience was awful." I can tell from the concerned look on his face that he still isn't getting it. "Stop thinking like guy for two minutes and imagine being a girl. From my point of view, I was expecting sex to be way different. Romance and fireworks and all that shit you see in the movies. Everyone is perfect and everyone alwyas gets an orgasm. What I got was, and again it is nothing against you and it is a moment that I will treasure for the rest of my life, but it was in the back of a truck and it was kind of cold and I was nervous and excited and scared all at once and in the end it was not what I was expecting at all." I rambled, like I do when I'm nervous. "They make it look so easy and effortless and not at all painful in the movies." 

"Was it really that bad?" He furrowed his brow.

"It wasn't bad." I shook my head to clarify. "I was expecting magic. Sex was supposed to be beautiful and amazing and pleasurable. I guess I just bought into the fairy tale aspect of it. I didn't see the reality of everything. Simple mathematics and schematics and the raw emotion of it." I shrugged. "Its everything I thought it was going to be now. But in the beginning it's a learning experience." I looked to him and he still looked confused. "You still don't get it, do you?"

He drew his eyebrows and shook his head very slowly. "I don't really know how to say it." I sighed and tried one last time. "Sex was built up to me, so over exaggerated. Like your tenth birthday. You expect to feel so much older just because you're age has two numbers instead of one and when the day comes you get the same lame presents as you did last year, you aren't treated any older, you don't feel any older and all of that. I was expecting it to be this big thing and that I would feel so much different, older, more mature. But I didn't at all. It wasn't at all what I was expecting. I don't want to say I was disappointed, but maybe a little let down. I didn't feel older, or cooler, or more fulfilled. I was just the same. Except not. I had sex with Eric because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. We had been going out and it just felt like time to move it along. Take it to the next step. Especially since he was obsessed with asking me and one day I just said why the hell not." I shrugged. "It wasn't what I was expecting. And when it was all done, I didn't know why I had been looking so forward to it. I really didn't get why any one would look forward to it. Or do it multiple times. And I really wasn't expecting the pain. The sharp rush of blood and stinging and….You might have gotten all sorts of good feelings out it, but I was overwhelmed with all sorts of new sensations, the pulling and stretching and…wow. Yeah, that about sums it up. I think I gave you enough gory details to suffice." I nodded. There was really no way to put everything about that experience into words. Especially a man. So I decided I would just leave it like that. "And girls need to talk about these things. It was a big milestones in my life and…" My face fell. "My mom was away and busy. And there was no talking to Charlie about this. So I had Rosalie and thank god she had the experience that I lacked."

"So you had sex with Rose?" Edward shouted.

"No!" I laughed. "Me and Rosalie never made it past second base but that's beside the point. She was like a coach. She talked me through it. Told me that it gets better. And it did. It gets so much better!" I leaned forward and gave him a reassuring kiss. "When I have sex now, it's like what I was expecting. It took me a little while but I got there." I look at him and he looks way less confused now. And he's got that dumb look on his face like he's imagining me having sex with Rosalie. I roll my eyes. Boys will be boys.

"I guess I never realized it was that much different."

I shrugged. "Just the first couple of times. Then you get used to it. And it helps when you actually care about the person that you're with. And they care about you. Plus there is so much to worry about now." I hint at our schools newfound fear of AIDS. "And when I'm with the people that I really care about I like the mutual respect and thoughtfulness and togetherness that really heighten the experience."

"Well, I'd like to heighten this experience." He raised an eyebrow and leaned in but I moved my head out of the way. And I did not expect the response that I got. "What the fuck, Bella?"

I sat up and turned to face him. "Excuse me?" I sounded a lot more angry than I was expecting but there were still tears slipping down my cheeks now. "What happened to our policy. No means no, no questions asked?"

"I shouldn't have to ask!" He shouted back at me and I cringed, I hoped my dad was a really sound sleeper tonight. "We're supposed to be honest and open with each other!"

"And I was. How many girls are that honest about their first times?"

"Thanks!" He shoutsed back, jumping from the picnic table and standing in front of me, looking down on me. "It was a great story but it doesn't matter right now. Right now what matters, is why you're pushing me away?"

My breathing got quicker as my blood boiled. "I'm pushing you away right now because you're being an ass."

"No, this started before I was being as ass. You told me the story to appease me. Just like the story about your dad being on your case. You're trying to distract me from whatever it is that you're hiding!" Damn him for knowing so much about me. The one downfall to having such a close relationship with my friends.

"Whatever," I scoffed and brushed past him. "Believe whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy," I screamed, as I wiped the tears from my face.

"Don't walk away from me, Bella. I just want you to let me in. We've been best friends for years. We've always been close and we've never kept secrets. I don't understand why you're starting now."

I shrugged. "I don't really have secrets. I just don't talk about some things sometimes. I don't know how too. There isn't a good way for me to say some of these things." I cried. I've been doing that far too much. "Two weeks ago I stopped taking my medication."

"What medication?"

I paused. "I was on antidepressants." This is one of those things that is really hard for me to talk about. Especially now. I bit my lip to tried to keep more tears from spilling. "Do you remember what last week was?" Edward stopped to think but I don't see the light bulb go off. "It's been three years." I frowned and fought to continue. "Since my mom died."

"It's been three years already?" Edward sighed.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah." My voice cracked. "I miss her."

"I know." Edward wrapped his arms around me. "I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose your mother that early."

"I sucks," I cried. "And it sucks even more because…" I faltered, it takes me a moment to gather my courage. "I never said anything because this wasn't my secret to tell. And I'm sorry I never trusted you with it. But you know, she was my mother. We were close. And I was scared and I was lonely and I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to know about it. I wanted to stop it. I wish I would have stopped it. I should have known. I should have seen…" Edward stared at me, his eyes questioning me. "It wasn't an accident." The tears fell more quickly. "She crashed the car on purpose." Edward's eyes grew wide in disbelief. "She left a note. I never showed anyone. I never told anyone. She didn't want that. She wanted me to know and I don't know why. I wish I didn't. Because I feel…Guilty."

Edward squeezed me tighter. "You couldn't have done anything. You didn't know."

"But I should have!" I cried. "I should have seen it. I should have known. She was my mother. I should have seen it."

Edward shook his head. "You couldn't have. I was close to your mom too. I didn't see anything, ever. It doesn't make sense."

I looked to the ground and kicked the dirt. "She didn't even explain it in the note. She just left it to say goodbye and how sorry she was for doing this to me. But she said it was for the best. How can leaving your teenage daughter be for the best?"

Edward craddled me into his chest and allowed me to cry on him. We stayed like that awhile longer, consoling one another, crying, talking about the past. Sometimes just enjoying quiet togetherness. And then Edward ruined it. He again brought his lips to mine and I brushed him off. "Bella." His voice was threatening. "What else is on your mind? I know that was hard for you to talk about. But you've been keeping that in for three years now, why would you start letting it bother you now?"

I stared at him, trying not to get angry or upset. I've had enough of that. "Because I'm off my meds."

"Don't you dare lie to me! You told me that story because you had too."

"I didn't have to do anything! I'm done with this. I've been baring my soul to you tonight and you just don't care."

"I care. That's why I want to know what is wrong with you. Because I care about you."

"What?" I scoffed. "Because I don't want to sleep with you tonight, something is wrong with me?"

"No, Bella. I know you. I know your habits. You're upset and you seek comfort in others but instead tonight you are pulling away. When your mom died, you broke into my house and you crawled into bed with me. After her funeral you sneaked away and we fucked. Any time when the emotion gets to be too much for you, you find me and I help you though it however I can. And I never cared. That's what I'm here for. That's what the group is here for. But yes, you bared your soul to me tonight and can't even look me in the eyes!" He's gotten me. "So why are you pushing me away now?"

"Pushing you away? I just told you things that I've never told anyone. I've never even thought of telling anyone."

"Sure, and to most people that would be awesome. But I know you, Bella. You can't hide from me."

"I'm not hiding." I said adamantly, with a shrug. Those two things might conflict a little. And he knows that. Like he said, he knows me. And I thought that it would be easier. To lie. But I'm not used to it. I don't need to lie. I don't care. And I still don't. The truth always comes out. But I don't want it yet. I need my secrets. I want to keep them. I want to figure them out. I want them to go away quietly. I don't know what I want yet and that is what is keeping my secrets secret. "Believe whatever you want. Whatever you need. And if I have something to tell you, I will. But right now I don't. And I don't care what you say." I shrugged again. "That is that. I'm done. You can keep screaming and yelling but nothing is going to change." I fought the frown but I couldn't help but let it happen. I don't like lying to Edward. I don't like yelling at Edward. I don't like anything that I just did. So I turned around and walk away but Edward quickly catches me and turns me back to him.

Edward shoved me against my house and held me in place, one hand on my neck threateningly, one on my cheek lovingly caressing. His face echoed the internal combat in his mind. Act on his anger? Or as always be my loving protector? I should be scared but I trust him. He leaned in, his forehead resting against mine as he whispers in my ear, in a tone I can't place, a little angry, a little sad, a little lost. "Did you fuck him?" A tear slipped from his emerald green eyes.

"What?" I look into his eyes. "Who?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense, Bella." His hands fell to my sides and he pulled himself in closer to me, loosely hugging me.

"What? What makes sense?" My voice cracked as the tears fell freely.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He shook his head. "Why didn't you tell _us_?" He correced himself. I opened my mouth to speak but can't find the words. But I didn't have to, he knew just by looking into my eyes. He dropped his hands to his sides, and took a step back, completely letting me go. And the worst part is, he couldn't even look me in the eyes right now. "You're positive. Your last test was positive." He nodded his head. His face held no emotion. But I knew it was there. He walked away, a small heartbroken boy just as scared for the future as I was.


	4. 4: Everything's a Piece of Everyone

**Chapter 4** **Everything's a Piece of Everyone**

**Edward**

This was going to be the longest and hardest day of my life. Of that I was sure. Even if she hadn't said it out loud, I was burdened with Bella's secret. I spent the remainder of the night crying. It isn't easy to hear that a loved one is sick. Especially when they were really sick and only going to get sicker. And it's not like Bella was just a friend. Bella was a major part of my life. I loved her. I loved her more than I thought capable.

I wasn't able to coax myself to sleep last night. I spent it lying in bed, my mind racing. I had no concrete answers and a million more questions. After we found out about Royce, we became the most educated high schoolers on HIV/AIDS. It shouldn't have taken any more than six months to come up in a test. So there is no way that Bella got it from Royce. So that means that she has been cheating on us. It's not the first time something like that has happened. Last summer someone (everyone claimed innocence, insisting that it must have been a fluke of sleeping on unclean bedding on a vacation), cheated on us and we all somehow ended up with crabs. That was awful in so many ways. STDs, no fun, just another reason that we only fuck each other. Or at least, we only fuck each other in theory. It seems like some people just don't seem to care about the promises we made each other. Out of every member of our group, I never would have thought that Bella would be the one to break our bonds like that. I could picture it from others, with a little difficulty. But not from Bella. She wasn't like that. I guess she is a much better liar than I ever thought possible.

I could tell from everyone's wayward glances that my rough night showed on my face. I must have looked like a walking zombie. And that's what I felt like on the inside too. Walking among the living yet completely dead on my feet. Sure it sounded like an over exaggeration. But to me, it was far from that.

I was in a sense bound to Bella. She was one of my oldest and best friends. How could I betray her by spilling her secret? It wouldn't feel right. Especially when I knew how much it was hurting her. She was much more conflicted than I was. But I was also bound to the group. Didn't they have a right to know? We never kept secrets before. So why should this be any different? Especially when the secret was so… I can't even put a word to it. I can't fathom the consequences this would have. It would be as if someone dropped a nuclear bomb on the city. No one would know what the fall out would be like. I couldn't bring myself to be the one to deliver that bomb. But I almost felt like I had too. Sure fighter pilots felt guilty about the damage that a nuke would inflict. But didn't the end justify the means? There were lives at stake. The lives of the people that I cared about. I loved them more than life itself. I would trade my life in for anyone of them. I would give my life away even if it was just to deliver to them one simple moment of happiness. I loved them that much.

And now, I'm totally fucked.

I walked the hall slowly, my mind still battling with itself. Waging the war inside my head of Good vs. Evil. Only I wasn't sure which one was which right now. I sighed dramatically as I neared my locker. I could see everyone gathered there, waiting for me. Rosalie looked angry that I had made her wait so long. Jacob looked annoyed. Jasper and Alice were laughing together. And Bella… I sighed. I wish I could say that I could see a change in her. Shouldn't I have been able to see something so big? But I didn't. She still looked like Bella. Only she looked a little lost. A little scared. And she couldn't look me in the eyes as she nervously bit her lip. But no one else seemed to notice this. So I'm guessing she still kept her secrets locked behind her soft pink lips.

I opened my locker silently, busing myself with books. The moment I was done, Roalie slammed my locker shut for me and glared at me. "What?" My shoulders slumped slightly as I spoke. I really wasn't in the mood. Nor was my sleepy mind prepared for the angry storm I'm sure Rosalie was ready unleash on me. God damn that woman's quick temper.

"What crawled up your ass this morning?" She groaned. So maybe she wasn't as angry as she looked. Maybe I was just still reading too far into things.

I looked to Bella, her soft brown eyes silently pleading with me. I let out a heavy sigh. Of course she would win. She was Bella. She could make me do anything that she wanted. All she had to do was think it. "Nothing." I shook my head. "I just couldn't sleep last night."

"Please don't take it out on us." I heard Alice say softly. She was doing her best to step in and calm us before one of our tempers started flaring. That happened a lot with us. Quick tempers. Maybe it was a product of our over active hormones. Or simply the familiarity with one another. Or maybe it was simply that we knew we could get away with it. We could get away with anything. We were a family. No, we were so much more than that. We were so close that there wasn't a word in the English language to describe it. It was more like a three musketeers thing, except there were eight of us. All for one and one for all. Together we were one. Eight different components of the same thing. And when you're that close, you're bound to bicker. Not in a bad way ever. We never really got mad or overly annoyed. I think it was more the debate and the challenge that the bickering presented. Maybe we just wanted to prove how strong our bond was. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. We tested each other repeatedly and we knew that we were stuck in this together. Forever.

"I know. I'm sorry." I spoke softly, apologizing before I really even had a reason. And that was it. Our argument was over before it was even started. I guess I shouldn't really even say that we argue. It hardly counts when no one shouts.

"You feeling better, Bella?" Alice's soft musical voice asked.

Bella flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder and smiled. But I could tell that it was forced. "Yeah," she lied. It almost pained me to listen to. Was I upset at the fact that she was lying? Or _why_ she was lying? "Just a quick bug or something. Maybe nerves. Yesterday did kind of suck." She frowned slightly. She eyed me nervously, fidgeting her hands slightly. How was I the only one to notice how she was unraveling? It was in plain sight. You didn't have to even know she was keeping a big secret. All you had to do was look at her and see it screaming in your face. "I have to get to class. I don't want to be late." She uttered quickly before running away from us.

I could see Rosalie roll her eyes. "And I thought Jessica was the goody-goody of the group." After that we all broke up to go our separate ways.

Well, it was a lot less awkward than I thought it would be. But I still think I'm beyond fucked. Everyone deserved to know. Not just deserved, they _needed_ to know. So I forced myself to stay awake through History class and devise a plan. If I couldn't break Bella's trust and say something. I would find a way to make her do it herself.

First period crawled by at an agonizingly slow pace. I think I was too anxious to get to second period. Not that I enjoyed biology very much. In fact, I think it rivaled to be my least favorite of all time. But it was my first class with Bella. Good for two reasons. For as dumb as I was in the biology department, I was still pulling a B average. Bella was brilliant. She was like fucking Albert Einstein. And when it came time for labs. She was my saving grace. She pushed me aside and did all the work in half the time as everyone who was working together and pairs. Today was a lab day. And when she finally completed the lab. I would get my chance to talk to her. To convince her that this secret is not worth keeping. No matter what the wrath of Rosalie would bring. It would still be better if she heard it now. As opposed to any farther in the future. If Bella waited any longer, blood would be shed and lives would be lost. One way or another. I shuddered to think that it was probably already at that stage. People would die. People I loved. This disease had already effected us enough. Couldn't it let us be without slowly killing anyone else? I felt a lump rising in my throat and quickly started to think about something else. Or at least I tried. And failed miserably. I had nothing to think about outside of the group. They were my life.

I settled into my seat beside Bella. I could feel her mood immediately change. Her heart raced. Her breathing quickened. Her muscles tensed. "I think we should talk," I whispered.

"I need to work." She shook me off and began the bio lab. Her brown eyes staring into the microscope quickly.

"Bella," I said with a sigh. If I didn't do it now, I might not be able to later.

"Wait until I'm done," she said without looking up at me. And because she was Bella, I listened. She worked slowly. She didn't even bother trying to make it look any different than what it was. She was stalling. Not that I could really blame her. If I were in her shoes, I would have skipped this whole part and just ran away somewhere to die. But she was Bella. She was loving and compassionate. And… nothing really made sense anymore. She was Bella. How could she be doing this to me? To us? It just wasn't the Bella that I knew. Not the Bella that I loved.

"Bella, cut the crap." I rubbed my eyes, hoping that would somehow help clear my mind. "This is really important. More important than bio right now."

Her muscles tightened some more and her breathing stuttered. "Not right now." She looked up just enough for her brown eyes to sway me just enough to keep from arguing. "There are too many…"

But she didn't need to finish. There were too many people. I could see it was hard enough for her to know that I shared her secret. Let alone anyone else. Especially the way gossip spread like wildfire through this small town school. "We can be discreet." I promised. I took a deep breath and prepared myself. "I know this is hard, especially with all the memories this is bringing up and everything but…how could you not tell anyone."

She sucked in her bottom lip and gnawed on it nervously. "I didn't want to burden anyone." She saw my stunned expression and elaborated. "Not yet at least. I mean, I've got a little time."

"A little time?" I scoffed. This really isn't the Bella I know. If she tested HIV positive… There is no way that my Bella would ever keep that from the group. She was endangering 7 other lives. She wouldn't take that lightly. She couldn't even kill a spider in the house. And when she found out that anyone else did, she lashed out. What was happening to Bella? Was this horrible disease bypassing her immune system and fucking with her head instead? "How can you say that? You're sick, Bella. And we could be… You could be… I know that it's more difficult to pass from a woman and all but still… It's possible."

Her head snapped up quickly and she drew her brow as if she were confused by my words. Was she just acting in case anyone was listening and watching? Did she think my words were too much? Did I give too much away? No. "What?" I snapped at her. She was really starting to get under my skin now.

She shook her head and sadness filled her eyes. "You think that…" She broke off and looked back to her lab report. "I am faithful and I am loyal. I would never consider doing anything to hurt you or any other member of our group. I would never put you in danger like that. And I thought that you would know that. Don't you know me better than that? I could never hurt you." A single tear slipped down her milky white cheek. And she refused to look back to me. That was killing me. "How could you ever think that of me?"

I know I shouldn't be so easily convinced. But I couldn't help it. It was Bella. She had never lied to me before. She was honest as an angel. And she had the voice and body of an angel as well. How could you not believe anything she ever said? But she all but said the words last night. It was the only thing that made sense. "But you said you tested positive." I reminded her. At some point over the past two days she lied. I rubbed my head again. Was the lack of sleeping fucking with my head now? Or had I never woken up? Those seemed to be the only explanations I can come up with now.

"No, Edward." She shook her head softly. "_You_ said I tested positive."

Now it was my turn to furrow my brow in confusion. "But you didn't deny it."

"I know." She sighed, resting her head on the cold table we shared. Her voice was as soft as a whisper as she spoke, making sure that no one else was able to hear. _I_ was barely able to hear. "I did test positive. But we weren't talking about the same test, Edward." The corners of her mouth tugged down into a frown.

It broke my heart to see her so sad. I rested my head on the table beside her, brushing her brown hair out of her eyes so I could meet them. My hand rested on her cheek, attempting to comfort her as much as I could in the middle of class. She sucked in her bottom lip as a silent sob wracked her small frame. Now I was really confused.

But in the next few seconds the veil of confusion was ripped from my sight with such an astounding force that my breathing stopped for a moment. One small action made it all very clear to me. The moment that Bella rested her hand on her stomach and jumped from her chair, stretching far over the table we shared to the small sink attached to the front of our table just in time for her stomach to lurch and spew the small amount of bile that it contained, it was as clear. Bella wasn't HIV positive. She was pregnant.


	5. 5: Just Put Your Hands on Me

**Chapter 5**

**Alice**

**Just Put Your Hands on Me**

The first few days of school passed by quickly. And as most first weeks go, it was horrible. To start off the year with a memorial was probably a telltale sign that the entire year was going to suck. And so far, it was.

It was my senior year, it shouldn't suck. It should be about parties and fun and getting out of this place. Instead it seemed to be more work than ever. You need to know _this _before you go to college. You need to do _that _before you can get into college. You _need _to go to college. I'm sick of college already. It's just going to ruin everything.

So instead of sitting through ninth period English I was sitting in the auditorium listening to the guidance counselors talk to us about how to prep for college. It was incredibly boring so far. Mostly, because we all already know this shit. We've been hearing the same damn spiel since freshman year. You need to send in applications to about a million colleges because chances are you won't get into all of them, you need to have back ups. Filling out the applications are a gigantic pain in the ass. What do you want to major in? Where is the best college for that? But where do you want to go? What do you want to get out of college? Just a bunch of bullshit. You know what we want out of college? Parties. Alcohol. Sex. And eventually the degree that means we can hopefully get a halfway decent job. The rest doesn't really matter.

That's a lie. There is a lot that matters. Will my friends be there? Will we still be able to do what we love to do best? I know that our friendship is strong enough to survive anything. But what about the rest?

"What are you doing tonight?" Jasper asked me quietly, trying not to draw attention to us.

"Working," I whispered my response. The guidance counselor started a video. It was awful in so many ways but at least it got her to shut up.

"How late?"

"I'm there till the end, so it'll probably be after 10:30 by the time i finish all my closing duties. Why?"

He shrugged his shoulders and smirked at me. "I was hoping we could get together later," he said casually. But I knew his implications. He wanted to fuck. And so did I.

"The park at 11:30?" I suggested.

His smile broadened. "Sounds like a date."

I returned his smile and rested my hand on his upper thigh. His eyes closed tightly as I slowly inched my fingers towards his inner thigh and let them come to a rest on the bulge of his jeans. A quiet moan escaped from his throat as I gently massaged him.

"Slut!" someone said through a coughed from behind us. I could feel Jasper's muscles tighten in response. But it's nothing new. Since the very beginning we have been dealing with this sort of thing.

"Don't worry, Jazz," I said just loud enough for the asshole behind us to hear. "He's just jealous he can't find a girl that wants to fuck him." I turned to glare at Dave, the asshole, throwing insults. "Let alone, four girls that want to fuck him like you have."

Dave's buddies laughed and I could see Dave's face grow red in anger for a moment. "Sweetie, if you want to fuck, you should pick a man like me. Not that stupid art fag."

"Does that usually work? Do girls fall into your arms, wet panties already on the floor? Because it's doing nothing for me. And you think I'd be the first to fall for it, since I'm such a _slut_."

"Alice," Jasper interrupted me. "Don't." The rest of the assembly we all remained silent. And thankfully the final bell rang I said goodbye to all my friends and Jasper walked me to my car, holding my hand. "Still on for tonight?" Jasper asked.

"You couldn't keep me away if you wanted too," I smiled, jumping into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist. I brought my lips to his and kissed him roughly.

He took a few more steps forward and pressed my back into my car as he continued to kiss me. There were a few disgusted things yelled at us and we continued but we ignored them. "How much time do you have?" he asked, his eyes hooded from lust.

"Not enough," I pouted.

"Then you better hurry through your shit and get your ass to that park as soon as you can," he responded, carefully planting my feet on the ground.

"You know I have to shower and change. I can't show up in my uniform smelling like grease."

"Ugh, yes you can! You know I think you look hot in that short skirt with those shoes you wear. And I don't mind the smell, it kind of turns me on a little."

I roll my eyes and laugh. "No, you're always turned on. The smell makes you _hungry_."

He nodded. "Speaking of hungry..."

"Bacon cheeseburger, hold the vegetables and a double order of fries?"

"It's so hot how you know me like that," he said as he grabbed my ass and pulled me into him for another kiss. I broke away from him quickly, much to my disappointment.

"I have to go, babe," I said sadly.

"Call off," he said tucking a piece of my short hair behind my ear. "We have much more important things to do." He planted another kiss on my lips.

I laughed and backed away from him, opening my car door. "Later. I'll make it worth the wait."

"I know you will, sweetheart. That's why the wait is going to kill me. " I smirked at him and closed the door. I got home with plenty of time to get myself ready for work. I probably should have taken Jasper up on his offer. Even if I was a little late, wouldn't the sex have been worth it? Too late now. But at least the buildup between the two of us will make tonight well worth the wait. If I could ever get there.

My shift seemed to last forever. Half-price burger Thursdays are always on the crazy side, but this was absolutely ridiculous. The kitchen was so backed up that people were waiting nearly an hour for their food. Even though that wasn't my fault, all of my customers still blamed me leaving me tips that were disgustingly low. And because the kitchen was so busy the orders were constantly wrong.

"You guys are killing me," I whined as I walked into the kitchen returning an overly pink burger. "I need a well done Lodge Burger on the fly."

"Govno!" Nikola cursed in his native Serbian. "Anything for you, my bestest girl." Yeah, he still didn't have the English language down perfectly. But it was way better than my Serbian would ever be. And he was a hell of a cook.

"Thanks, Niko," I responded rushing past him, trying to refill the drinks in the dinning hall. I stopped and took a handful of orders and entered them into the computer.

As soon as the orders were printed in the kitchen I heard Niko cursing again. "No more coleslaw! I am no more."

"86 the coleslaw!" I shouted to my fellow server's and added it to the board, thankfully that was the only item there. But if this pace kept up we might run out of hamburgers next. I rushed out to the floor again, breaking the news about the coleslaw to the devastated patrons that just had their heart set on the damn slaw. My manager was mingling on the floor, trying to calm the irate customers but nothing seemed to be working. There was still a long wait to be seated. An even longer wait for the food. Too many mistakes in the kitchen. So the tips were still small.

The night continued to drag on. I used to think that busy days were better because the time went by faster. But it was the exact opposite. My shift was going to last forever. I would continue to be yelled at about the wait, even though my sole job is to take orders and bring them out with a smile on my face and my tips would suffer for it. Thank god, I have plans with Jasper tonight. I was going to need to work off all of this frustration. Maybe that is why it was going so slowly. I was looking forward to the night too much.

At 8:30 the rush finally died down. And I was able to breathe and begin my closing duties. Between taking and delivering orders and refilling drinks, I was able to fill my quota and roll enough silverware into napkins before 9:30. I talked Niko into making secretly making Jasper's order and surprising me with something for myself, I thought I deserved a little bonus for the hellish day I had. And in all the rushing around I completely skipped my break so I was now famished. I spent the next half hour before closing refilling the condiments on the tables. And finally when the last table left, at 10:25 I was able to sweep and mop and get the hell out.

I rushed home, left a note for my parents that I was going out with Bella. I showered and dressed in record time before hauling ass to the park. I needed some Jasper time. Luckily he was early and already waiting for me on the swing set. I threw him his bag of food and he groaned in satisfaction as he tore into it. "I love you," he said, his mouth full of cheeseburger. Ugh, men!

"Don't let that ruin your appetite," I teased as I opened my bag of food to find a grilled chicken sandwich. That would work.

"I always leave room for dessert." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at me.

I laughed at him. "I know you have an endless appetite. I just don't know how you can gorge yourself like you do and then still be able to move."

"I can do more than just move," he responded just before he shoved a handful of fries in his mouth. "I will rock your world." I laughed pumped my feet, making the swing move. I nibbled at my sandwich eating half of it before I replaced it into the bag. Unlike Jasper, I couldn't stuff myself and be able to do anything other than puke. Especially have rough playground sex. I exhaled heavily and rested my head against the metal chains of the swing and watched Jasper eat. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I shook my head. "Just a long day. The Lodge was crazy."

"You want to just go home?" he asked, his mouth still full of food. So gross!

I shook my head. "No way! You promised to rock my world. And you know how much I hate liars, so you better deliver."

He lifted the brown paper bag up and shook it, letting the two loose fries in the bag fall into his mouth. "Have I ever disappointed you?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Not recently," I teased him, continuing to pump my legs to make the swing go higher. The cool breeze I was creating felt wonderful after being stuck inside a hot diner.

"Don't be like that, baby. You could damage my fragile ego."

I snickered loudly. "Doubtful. Your ego is too big for that."

"I got something else that's big too." He raised his eyebrows at me. Men! Everything always turns to sex. Granted, I'm not that much better. But still. He began to pump his legs and worked to match my rhythm and when he did, he reached his hand out and I accepted it. "You know I love you, right?"

"Of course. But it's always nice to hear."

"I love you."

"I love you too," I responded, meeting his eyes. "I miss this."

"What?" he asked.

"Just being." I shrugged. "It sucks. We all couldn't wait to grow up but now that I'm pretty much there all I want to do is be a kid again. Just swing on swing sets and play with my friends. I don't want to think about the future. I just want to live in the moment and enjoy what I have right now."

"So do it."

"I am trying. But it's constant. Where are you going to school? What are you going to do? Where did you apply? We had to sit through an entire assembly about it today. And my parents are constantly asking. And I don't want to think about all that. I just want to sit in the park and enjoy this with you."

"That's it? You don't want to do anything _else _in the park with me?"

"You know what I mean, asshole. I want to stay like this forever."

"So we will." He tugged on my hand, pulling my swing closer to him so he could kiss my hand. It threw off the rhythm of our swing terribly and we were forced to let our hands go. I regained control of my swing and pumped my legs harder getting my swing as high as it could go before I jumped. I landed perfectly on my feet and looked behind me and smirked at Jasper.

"You want to play with me? You're going to have to catch me," I said playfully. I ran beside him and lightly shoved him. "Tag! You're it!" I shouted and ran away.

I heard Jasper fumble and fall behind me and I giggled, looking behind me to see him dusting dirt from his pants. "You're going to pay for this," he shouted as he began his chase.

"Only if you can catch me," I yelled back over my shoulder. I know he would eventually catch me and I'd be really disappointed if he didn't. But a game of cat and mouse would be fun. I ran across the rope bridge and peeked over my shoulder. Damn, he was fast. He had nearly closed the distance between us. I ran to the monkey bars and jumped up.

"Big mistake," he said closing in on me.

But I was too fast for him. I swung my body back and forth twice to gain momentum then just as he was about to grab my legs, I flipped and pulled myself on top of the bars and walked across them. I looked down between the bars and smiled at Jasper. "You forgot how many years I took gymnastics."

"I could never forget that. I enjoy your freakish flexibility too much." When I reached the last of the monkey bars I was able to climb onto the playset beside it and I crawled through the red plastic tunnel and to the slide. Jasper was waiting for me at the bottom. "Do you think we would be able to line up so if you go down that slide just right, you'd land on my dick?"

"Never," I laughed. "One of us would end up getting hurt. And I would bet, you would be the one to get hurt."

"Practice with our clothes on?" he suggested as he sat himself down in the wood chips.

"You're crazy," I said with a laugh as I sat down on the purple slide. "But it's your dick that's going to get crushed."

He ignored me and lied back, working for two minutes to get his position just right. "Alright, go," he commanded me. I rolled my eyes and spread my legs, letting my feet hang over the sides of the slide. I pushed myself and began to slide down. And as expected, I landed on his dick, _hard_. He let out a huge breath and groaned. "Fucking shit!"

"Told you so, you doofus." I stood off of him. "Now you ruined my playtime." I stuck out my bottom lip.

"No," he protested, rolling onto his side and curling into the fetal position. "I just need a minute." He took in a few deep breaths before he spoke again. "You're going to need to come over and apologize for hurting your playmate."

I smiled and walked over to him. "And how would I do that?"

"He needs a kiss to make it all better." I bent down and kissed Jasper's crotch through his jeans. "You're going to need to do better than that." He unzipped his pants and slid them down his legs. I reached my hands to his thighs and slowly slid them up to the elastic band of his briefs. I took my time sliding them down his legs. I bent down and placed a soft kiss on the tip before standing up again.

"Better?" I asked, looking at him. Even with the slightest touch he was beginning to get hard.

"Almost," Jasper said softly, his voice full of lust.

"Too bad," I said, taking a few steps backwards. "I was looking forward to playing with him."

"Oh no," Jasper shouted. "You get your ass back here, you bad girl."

I smiled and took a few more steps backwards. "I told you, you have to catch me." And with that I ran. I heard Jasper struggle with his pants and I looked behind to him. He left them on the wood chips beneath the slide and began to chase me. It didn't look very easy for him to run fully erect now so I slowed my pace as I reached another playset.

I walked onto the platform and was about to climb onto the second level when Jasper finally reached me. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me back into him. "No more games." He brought his right hand to my right breast and massaged. I couldn't help but let out a loud moan. "You've been a very bad girl," he said into my ear. "It's time for your punishment." He leaned me forward, my upper body resting on the wooden second platform. He lifted up my skirt and grabbed my ass. "Naughty girl, wearing no panties," he teased playfully as he brought his hand down to my cheeks hard. I moaned loudly as he continued to spank me. I don't know if I would ever be good for one night stands. Sure, I love sex. But I love _great _sex, like I have. It took a little while for us to get to know each other so well. I love to be spanked, but it does nothing for Jessica. And all of our friends know that and all of our other quirks and what we like when. And not just sexually. We know everything about each other and I love that. Why don't more people do what we do? I just don't get it. "Ready for more?" he asked, bringing his left hand to massage my breasts and snaked his right hand around my waist and between my legs.

"Yes!" I almost screamed. I moaned and pushed my body down on his hand as he passed his fingers over my clit with a feather light touch.

"I can tell," he whispered into my ear as he slipped one finger inside of me and wiggled.

"More," I demanded breathlessly. He entered another finger as his thumb traced small circles around my clit. I began panting as he continued to move his fingers inside of me. And just as I was about to climax he removed his fingers. Asshole! He'd be dead in seconds, if he was going to leave me like that. But before I could protest, he bent me over the platform again and placed himself at my entrance and slowly pushed himself in. My hands reached out in front of me looking for something to grab onto as he slowly moved himself inside of me. "Fuck!" I cursed loudly. "Harder." I was not in the mood for slow and gentle love making. There were times when that is what I wanted but this was not it. I wanted to be fucked _hard_. Thankfully Jasper wanted the same thing. His hands gripped my waist tightly as he forced himself into me harder and he pumped faster. We were both panting and moaning like wild animals. I'm glad that this park is not anywhere near houses or we would be in trouble with how loud we were getting. It didn't take very long before I could feel my orgasm on the horizon again. Jasper knew this too and gathered my hair in his fist and pulled with just enough force to excite me. He brought his lips to the very sensitive spot at the back of my neck and bit, sending me over the edge, just like he knew it would. He thrust a few more times before he too reached his climax. We collapsed onto the playground, holding onto each other as we tried to catch our breath again.

"Still sore?" I asked Jasper.

"Not after that."

"So it was worth the wait?" I asked Jasper when I was capable of speech again.

"Fuck yes! I think I have a new favorite thing now."

"The slide?"

"No! Not the slide. Never the slide. Fuck the slide." We laughed. He kissed the top of my head. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said, snuggling into his chest and closing my eyes. "Can we stay here for awhile? Just like this?"

"Forever if you want." He kissed the top of my head again. "But we will have to deal with some angry mother's and probably The Chief if we do."

I smiled. "It'll be worth it, if we can do that again."


End file.
